How to tell the difference between nightmares and night terrors

How to Tell the Difference Between Nightmares and Night Terrors

Nightmares and night terrors are confusing in both cause and treatment. Knowing the difference between the two is the key to determine the best way to handle them.

Nightmares
Nightmares occur during REM sleep, which happens near the end of our sleep period. When children have a nightmare, they will seek comfort from their disturbing dream and recognize you upon seeing you. They are able to recall the nightmare, but it may take awhile to fall back asleep and get the scary thoughts out of their minds. Nightmares are very common and are part of normal development. Their occurrence often peaks at two or three years of age when children have rich imaginations and trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy. Nightmares are, of course, common after difficult events or when children are re-living a trauma.

Here's how to cut down on nightmares:

• Avoid scary videos, books, etc. prior to bed.
• Don't play scary games.
• Respond quickly when your kid has a nightmare and assure him that he's safe.
• Help your child get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation can increase nightmares.
• Avoid high-dose vitamins at bedtime.
• Check with your pediatrician to make sure your child is not on any medications that might be interfering with his night sleep.

Night Terrors
Night terrors are different from nightmares in both the symptoms and the experience. When a child is experiencing a night terror she may scream and appear anxious and may not recognize you when you approach her. There may also be sweating and/or a racing heartbeat. The child is often inconsolable. The terror usually lasts between five and fifteen minutes and then subsides. These incidents are often more upsetting for the parent than they are for the child, as children do not usually remember them. Night terrors occur during NON-REM sleep and usually occur within two hours of going to sleep. Night terrors are not bad dreams. They do NOT occur during dream sleep. They are not a sign of a psychological problem.

Night terrors seem to be more common in boys, and occur in 5% of all children. Sometimes they occur when your child is working on a developmental milestone. Your child is more likely to have night terrors if either parent had them as a child, or if either parent had a partial arousal sleep disorder such as sleepwalking. The most common cause of night terrors is sleep deprivation or a disturbance in a child's sleep patterns—like traveling to different time zones, a new home or a later bedtime. Other reasons for night terrors can include sleep apnea and fevers.

Here are some tips on how to handle night terrors:

• If your child is having a night terror, monitor the child but avoid interfering, as this can worsen the episode.
• Make sure your child is physically safe during the night terror.
• Put your child to bed earlier.
• Keep a regular sleep schedule for him.
• Don't talk about the terror with your child in the morning.

If your child is having night terrors two to three times a week at set times during the night (i.e. 2 hours after going to sleep) try the following:

• Keep a sleep log to chart your kid's sleep patterns.
• Wake your child 15 minutes prior to the time he usually has an episode.
• Do this every night for 7-10 nights in a row and you will most likely see the episodes start to diminish.

As these two phenomena differ so greatly in treatment, it's important to clearly understand the difference between nightmares and night terrors. Once you know what you're dealing with, you'll be able to help your child through them!

Happy Sleeping!

Time To Sleep Consulting

Carly Wintle

778-877-6380
http://www.timetosleepconsulting.com/

Break the bottle to sleep habit now

Tired of getting up in the night to take a bottle in - Start with bedtime!

“My 11-month-old goes to bed with a bottle and wakes for a bottle in the night. How do I break him of this habit?”

Good question! When you put your baby in bed at night, it is perfectly fine to include the bottle in his routine.  You could start with a bath, and then pajamas and then his bottle and a story or two. Or if you don't bath every night, perhaps some quiet play and then the pj's and his bottle and a story or two.

What you really want to avoid is giving him the bottle until he falls asleep or putting him in his crib with the bottle. This creates a bad habit that only gets harder to break the longer it goes on. To be clear - I have worked with families in this situation more than I can count and no matter how long it has been going on we resolve it, it can just take some time and as they get older the habit has been around longer and their willpower has increased!

You want to avoid the association of bottle and sleep going hand in hand. You do not want your baby to fall asleep with a bottle in her mouth because if she wakes up in the middle of the night she thinks she needs that bottle again to sleep. If you then come to her with a bottle and either feed her to sleep or put it into the crib, she sucks herself back to sleep with the bottle. This becomes a repetitive behaviour that is no good for anyone involved. Her sleep is being disrupted and so is yours. It is very damaging to her teeth coming in, not to mention if she is on 3 meals a day it can have an affect on the solid food intake.

 So, maybe start the bottle a little earlier in your routine. You can have a bath, then her bottle, then brush her teeth and then back for some stories, but you should be putting her into the crib awake and without a bottle.

You don’t have to leave the room; you can stay with her if you like, but she really does need to start connecting the steps that are involved in putting herself to sleep independently so that she is not relying on that bottle! Otherwise, she will most likely keep waking for that bottle. It could go on well into the second year so you really want to make sure you break this habit now.

If you are worried about how to make this happen without too much stress and worry - I will take the guess work out for you. Call me and we can discuss a few strategies.

Happy Sleeping!

Time To Sleep Consulting

Carly Wintle

778-877-6380
http://www.timetosleepconsulting.com/

Could your childs development be being affected by lack of sleep?

Make sure lack of sleep doesn't affect how exciting it is to watch your toddler’s development.

 Here’s roughly what developments to expect and when.

At a glance

·         Walking
·         Talking

·         Social skills

Walking

The average age for first steps is around 12-13 months, but plenty of toddlers don’t walk until nearer 18 months – and occasionally nearer two years old. As soon as they’re steady on their feet they may start running, though will probably have difficulty changing direction at the same time. Many adore climbing from 14-15 months and will turn every piece of furniture into their version of Mount Everest. By 18-20 months most can usually kick a ball but may struggle with jumping so hold off on Olympian Gymnast expectations!

Talking

Their first words can come any time between nine and 18 month, some earlier. The average is 11-12 months. At 18 months they should have around 10-20 words, rising to around 50 by their second birthday, when they will also begin to put two words together  (‘bye bye mummy’). If you’re worried your toddler is falling behind, it’s worth talking to your doctor who will have advice for encouraging your toddler’s language.

Social skills

A 12-month-old may not really interact much with other babies, but by 18 months will have probably progressed to playing alongside them maybe not yet ‘with’ them. It’s too early to expect them to share toys but using the words share and helping them gain an understanding of what share means and the behaviour behind can definitely be implemented daily.  They will imitate others’ behaviour from around 20 months and can also follow two-step instructions (‘bring me your hat and put it on’). They’re getting more dextrous too: by 18-20 months they may be able to take off some clothes, with help. By aged two they understand if they are a girl or boy. Between 18 months and two years most will begin to show a couple of the signs of readiness for potty training, such as hiding themselves away to do a poo. Most start potty training at two to two and a half years.

Play

At 12 months toddlers have usually perfected the pincer grip so they love practising it by fiddling with details, levers and moving parts of toys. By 16 months they may be able to stack a few bricks; taller towers come nearer 20-22 months. By 17 months most are enjoying pretend games like tea-parties.

Teeth

Almost all toddlers have their first tooth by their first birthday (though a few will still be waiting). By now many will have the front four teeth on bottom and top, with the canines (pointy teeth) and molars emerging at around 16-20 months. The second set of molars usually appears around two years old.  They will have all 20 baby teeth at two and a half to three. I always say they teeth for what feels like a lifetime so don't let that be the excuse for poor sleep habits.

Feeding

By 12 months most toddlers are pretty adept at finger feeding, and may be able to use a chunky spoon and fork by 15 months, with sometimes spectacular effects. Food should get gradually lumpier until they’re eating normal family food by 17-18 months. They should be happy drinking from a cup, not a bottle, from 12 months. All toddlers are unique and develop at different paces – don’t forget, they haven’t read the books! But if you’ve got concerns, do talk to your doctor to put your mind at rest.

In terms of sleep THEY NEED IT for development and I have actually had numerous cases where we fixed the sleep and the development flowed thick and fast after. Don't underestimate what sleep is doing for your child. You cannot run a car with out fuel and oil changes - not long term any way. Sleep is crucial for your little ones development. Give it the value it deserves.

Happy parenting and sleeping of course!








Time To Sleep Consulting

Carly Wintle

778-877-6380

http://www.timetosleepconsulting.com/

Falling asleep during the bedtime routine?

I am following a good bedtime routine but I can't keep my little one awake?

Sound familiar.......


"I've been working on the Sleep Sense Program for about a week now, but I'm having a really hard time keeping my baby awake through her bottle at the bedtime routine. What can I do?"


It is true that when you're working on the Sleep Sense Program, the number one rule is to make sure that you keep your baby wide awake through any feeds. That's the breast or the bottle.

Nine times out of 10, the problem is all around the sleep prop of getting to sleep on a bottle or a breast. You're right, you don't break the connection she has between the bottle and sleep, it'll make the whole process harder.

It will cause night wake ups because when she wakes up in the night, she'll still have this idea that she needs a bottle in order to get back to sleep at night.

Try this......

Move the bottle up in the bedtime routine. Most people have the feed as the last step. That can be really tricky. Especially, if she's not napping great yet, then she could be really, really fatigued by bedtime. By the time, she's had a bath, and you've got jammies on, and you've read some stories, and then you're going into a feed, she might be way too fatigued to even attempt to stay awake at the bottle. Then you're really fighting an uphill battle where you're tickling and talking to her and trying to keep her awake, and she's so tired she really can't even help you out any. I would suggest you can even move it up to before the bath. Go to the feed, then the bath and the jammies and the stories, and then bed. That will really help break any connection that she has that the bottle has anything to do with sleep.

If that seems like a bit too far up in the routine, then move it to right after bath. That can really help, too, because children tend to be a little stimulated from the bath. Most children really like their bath, so she'll be a little more awake when you get to the feed.

Then you can move into the next steps. The good news is the better naps start going, the less fatigued she'll be by bedtime, so that's something to look forward to.

The more the separation between the bottle and sleep develops, the less likely she will be to even try to fall asleep at the bottle. You'll find in a month or so, even if she is really tired, she won't use the bottle.  There won't be a connection there anymore. She'll happily have her feed, and then put herself to sleep just fine when she gets to the crib.

Good luck.....and happy sleeping!







Time To Sleep Consulting

Carly Wintle

778-877-6380

http://www.timetosleepconsulting.com/

To toy in the crib or not to toy in the crib.......Question of the day!

Ask yourself - do you sleep with toys?

If you’re like most parents, you probably can’t take more than a couple of steps in your house without tripping over a doll, a stuffed animal or a fisher price truck. You are most likely more than familiar with the sensation of getting those hard, tiny Lego pieces embedded in the bottom of your bare foot, or having to spend ten minutes scooping your child’s dripping army of rubber duckies and plastic fish out of the bathtub after she’s had her bath every night.
I often think toy companies must sit around brainstorming all the different places they should convince parents they need to stockpile toys in order to entertain their kids: the car, the living room, the bathtub and the crib, just to name a few.

Of course, toys are a fun and necessary part of any child’s life, but personally I don’t think there should be any toys in the crib at all. The crib is for sleeping. If it’s filled with brightly coloured plush toys or gadgets that strap on to the rails and make sounds or play songs when your child pushes buttons it is all far too distracting and stimulating for bedtime.

Even a mobile is off-limits if you want your child to learn to sleep properly. While the child may seem to be staring calmly and intently at the pretty floating butterflies above her head, the colours and movement are actually firing up her mind and keeping her awake.

If you put your child to bed in a crib-full of toys to amuse himself, he is far less likely to just close his eyes and go to sleep. Bedtime is obviously a time when you want to be helping your babies and toddlers wind down, but instead you may just be winding them up!

Any sleep specialist will tell an adult struggling with insomnia to limit all activities in the bed so that you send a clear message to your body and brain that when you are in this specific location you are meant to sleep. That means putting away phones, iPods, iPads and laptops and turning off the 10:00 news on your TV. The very same holds true for children. While the toys might not seem as stimulating as electronics, your child will play with them when she should be going to sleep, even if she’s tired. Kind of like you staying up later than you should just to check Facebook one more time…

Despite my general no-toys-in-the-bed philosophy, I do make an exception when it comes to that one special “security” toy, like your child’s favourite stuffed animal or plastic Spiderman or frog puppet… whatever it may be. I’m referring only to that one toy that they cart around all day, or stuff in their pocket, or can’t leave the house without. These beloved toys offer soothing comfort and help your child feel relaxed and safe.

Anything you can do to minimize distractions when it’s time for bed will really help as you are establishing good sleep habits and routines. The more simple and plain your child’s surroundings are, the easier it will be for him to drift into dreamland.









Time To Sleep Consulting

Carly Wintle

778-877-6380

http://www.timetosleepconsulting.com/

My child does not sleep well in Daycare!

The Real Challenges of daytime sleep not at home

"My 10 month old does not take good naps at the babysitter's three times a week and is super crabby by the time six o'clock rolls around. Should I just put him down early or should I wait for his normal bedtime?"

I've got three tips around this very common issue:

Tip number one would be to first find out why he's not sleeping well at daycare. I find that a lot of people just bury their head in the sand around daycare and hope for the best. What I tell everyone to do when you're interviewing is find out what do they do around naptime.

Are things scheduled? Do they have a quiet place to sleep? Or is it just, "Oh, if they fall asleep in the stroller, fine," and just going like that? You really need to investigate a little bit and find out if the situation is conducive to what you've created at home.

The second tip would be to find out how they actually get your baby to fall asleep. Some daycares are great and they'll do whatever you tell them to do which, in my opinion, should be the way it is. You're the boss here. You are the parent. You are paying the bill. They should be able to do what you want them to do.

If you come in really clear and say, "Listen, I put this baby down, awake, and he falls asleep on his own. All he needs is a quiet environment and a crib of his own and he'll do great," why wouldn't they want that? That makes their job that much easier.

But some daycares, for whatever reason, have certain policies in place where they don't do that. They wrap the babies or they stroller ride them until they fall asleep and then transfer them.
You need to find out what's going on to getting your baby to sleep in the first place. If it's the total opposite of what you've worked really hard to create, you need to keep looking. Absolutely.


Tip number three around this is, for some babies, they just don't sleep as well when they're out or at daycare or whatever the situation is. None of us do, really. We all sleep better in our own beds, so that makes sense to me.

If you find that they do what you ask and they try really hard and he doesn't quite sleep as well, if he's grumpy by six o'clock, then absolutely put him down early. I always say there is no reason why you need to live with a grumpy, tired child to hang on to some magical bedtime that you've created in your mind. Six o'clock, you can have him, do the routine. Get him down through 6:30, and that would be fine.

Because he's not going to daycare every day, then on the days he's home with you and sleeping great, it's no problem to hang on to your normal bedtime. We do want the body clock to get in line with a consistent bedtime; but there is wiggle room around that. It's not set in stone.

On a side note, if your little one is not sleeping great at day care or anywhere for that matter and struggles to sleep through the night then it may be time to read a few of my other blogs or get in touch so we can fix this and sleep becomes one less thing to worry about!


Time To Sleep Consulting

Carly Wintle

778-877-6380

http://www.timetosleepconsulting.com/

Please let the EARLY wake ups STOP!

I don't want to be awake before 6am!

HELP!!!!

Does this sound familiar....are you living this dream right now?

“My one-year-old is waking up at 4:00 AM, and won’t go back to sleep even after I nurse him. He then, struggles to make it to his first nap of the day. He goes to bed at 7:30, and has two solid naps during: the day. How can I fix this?”

First of all, you are not alone in this. This is the number one question that I get from parents every day, their baby’s waking up too early. I have three tips around that for you.

The first would be to have a look at darkness. That’s always the first place I look, especially, as the summer months are upon us, we really need to keep light out. People often think that they’ve got it dark enough, but it can always be darker, because even the slightest change in light variation can stimulate a wake up in anybody. As an adult, you can look at the clock and notice that it’s not time to get up, yet. A baby can’t do that. I want it dark in there. I want it to be as dark as it would be if you walked in, in the very middle of the night. That’s tip number one.

Tip number two, actually, it’s a concern number two,  is the fact that you’re nursing him at 4:00 AM. Given his age, there should be absolutely no reason why your child would need a night feed.
My worry with this is that, that 4:00 AM might actually get earlier and earlier and earlier, instead of buying you more time, because to the baby, there’s no difference between a 2:00 feed and a 4:00 feed. I want you to consider pulling that. There’s absolutely no reason why he would need it unless a it's doctors orders in which case please share with me why! You might actually be stimulating him and waking him up. After his nurse, he goes back to the crib and thinks, “What are we doing here? I feel ready to go. Let’s start the day.” That’s why you’re having the struggles that you are.

Tip number three is the morning nap. You’ve mentioned in your question that he’s having a really hard time making it till his first nap of the day. I find that what can happen is, if a baby wakes up too early in the morning, gets up, starts his day, he’s going to be fatigued fairly quickly. It’s tempting to start putting him down earlier and earlier and earlier for that morning nap. You don’t want to do that. If you do that, you will get stuck in this viscous cycle of him waking up too early, going down for a nap at 7:00 AM, and throwing off your whole day. That will just absolutely mess up with his body clock. You’ll have to have a third nap, which will be completely foreign to him, and it’ll just cause a whole bunch of problems. Even though it’s really tough, and I totally understand that, you’ve got to hang on to his normal nap time. If it’s 09:30 AM, even if he’s been up since 04:30, you’ve got to hang in there until 09:30 as best as you possibly can. My advice would be to give him a bit of fresh air around eight o’clock, make sure that you give him enough snacks and food to keep his energy levels up, to really encourage him to hang in there. It’s similar to if you got up at 04:00 AM, wandered around, maybe had a snack, and then eventually went back to bed and finished your night. That’s what’s happening here, most likely. Hang in there until the first nap of the day. I always suggest that people do not change bedtime. That is super tempting when you’ve got an early riser. You think, “Oh, if we just keep him up late, he’ll sleep later in the morning.” That hardly ever works.
In fact, all you end up doing, then, is creating a huge amount of over-tiredness in your child, which leads to more fragmented sleep and even earlier morning wake ups. Whatever you do, don’t do that.

Easier said than done right? But if you do do it.....the results will follow.

Happy Sleeping beautiful people.


Time To Sleep Consulting

Carly Wintle

778-877-6380

http://www.timetosleepconsulting.com/